Remembering Grandma Judy: A Life Full of Adventure, Love, and Resilience

It’s this bond of shared experiences and the love of family that makes me think of my grandmother, Judy Stein. She was the embodiment of resilience, adventure, and determination, and she gifted me and my family a living example of how one can live fully and fiercely. Born in Newark, New Jersey, Grandma Judy grew up in Nanuet and Pearl River, New York, and was the last surviving member of her graduating class. Her early years were shaped by work and passion while she held down jobs at a local hospital and cared for horses, even while developing her artistic side as a self-taught photographer. She was so much more than that. She was an athlete and a musician, playing saxophone well enough to be chosen for the New York All-State Band while still in high school.

Her intellectual curiosity never waned. After raising four children including my dad Scott, she returned to school, earning two master’s degrees from William Paterson University. Her career as part of the Child Study Team in Wyckoff, NJ, spanned over two decades, retiring in 1996, the same year I began to navigate my own world of friendships and Bar-Mitzvahs.

But if you knew Grandma Judy, you knew her story was far from ordinary. She wasn’t just a woman who worked hard; she was a woman who lived life on her own terms, teaching all of us (her children and grandchildren) the value of independence and grit. She remarried in 1985 and, alongside her husband Arthur, traveled across the country in an RV exploring from the wilds of Pt. Barrow, Alaska, to the warmth of southern Florida.

Grandma Judy was always on the move whether it was rock climbing, skiing, or roller skating (which she competed in during high school). She climbed the Grand Tetons after she retired and kayaked for months in Alaska, embracing the wilderness with a heart full of wonder. Her love for nature was a part of her soul as was her devotion to animals, including raising German Shepherds for the Seeing Eye Foundation. And though she lived all over New Jersey and beyond, from Franklin Lakes to Hawthorne, to Fulton, Texas, she was deeply connected to her Jewish roots.

She cherished the foods and traditions that tied her to our culture such as knishes, white fish salad, corned beef, lox and bagels, and kugel. The tastes of her heritage were like threads, stitching her life story to the past and handing it forward to future generations. She loved Jewish culture as much as she loved the open road or a high mountain summit, and that balance of passion for both her roots and the wider world is something I will never forget.

One of the many stories passed down in our family was about her ancestry. She descended from the Jennings family, who arrived at Jamestown, Virginia, in 1642. This was on the same ship as the ancestors of George Washington and James Monroe. At least one of our relatives sailed for the Navy of Virginia during the Revolutionary War, an early testament to the strength and resilience that would come to define Grandma Judy’s life.

Even in her later years, Grandma Judy didn’t slow down. She line-danced, sailed to Bermuda, and hiked across Scotland and England. She was a pretty good shot with a shotgun too, something that always brings a smile when I think of how multi-faceted she truly was.
 
Before Grandma Judy passed last year on October 29th at the age of 94, she lived her final years yet again on her own terms. I had the pleasure of forfeiting my room so she could live with my parents and I in the early 2000’s before we both moved out to our own independent living situations. I moved to an apartment in Ridgewood and she moved to an apartment in Hawthorne where she immediately befriended both young and old members of her complex. Senior living of any kind was not for her and her adorable Yorkshire terrier Nicki. Although I helped move her larger pieces of furniture, she insisted on doing everything on her own up until her final days. She drove, she grocery shopped, she walked her dog, and she never missed a get together of any kind unless she simply “didn’t feel like it”. She was a character of all characters and will be greatly missed.

As we remember her life, we celebrate not only her accomplishments but the spirit with which she approached each day. Whether she was scaling mountains or preparing a family meal, she did it with love, independence, and an undeniable zest for life. It is through her example that we learn to embrace our Jewish identity, our family traditions, and the world beyond.

Her legacy is one of adventure, resilience, and a love of life that transcends the years. Grandma Judy showed us that to live fully is to never stop learning, never stop exploring, and always remain true to oneself. And for that, we will always be grateful.

Todd Shagin